


The Legend of Sleep-With-Me-Hollow

by CaesiumDressing



Series: Huxloween 2017: Huxloween Rides Again [16]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blow Jobs, Condoms, Huxloween, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Pumpkin Spice, What am I doing with my life?, alternate univers-porn stars, headless horseman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 11:28:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12387165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaesiumDressing/pseuds/CaesiumDressing
Summary: Ichaknob Profane finds himself in Sleep-With-Me-Hollow after having lost Kasey Van Asshole's hand to Boner Van Brut.





	The Legend of Sleep-With-Me-Hollow

As Ichaknob Profane wandered through the dark woods of Sleep-With-Me-Hollow he thought about his unfortunate loss.

“What sort of horrible fate is this,” Ichaknob lamented. “That I should lose the lovely Kacey Van Asshole to that Boner Van Brute? That man will never make poor Kacey happy.”

Hux tried his best to fall convincingly over the tree root that had been hastily nailed to the floor of the set. If he put any weight on it it’d go flying again. The poor mic technician still had a bag of ice in his lap and a sour look on his face. Hux went down gracefully and laid on his side, sweeping his hand to his head.

“There is no one in this country as good as I sucking dick! The lovely Kacey cannot live on rough fucking alone!”  Hux had a difficult time not grimacing. They had had a whole slew of questionable scripts in the past few months but this one was somehow the worst.

Hux turned to the tromping of boots coming through the simulated fog. He hadn’t seen Ren’s costume yet, apparently the head piece had just come in. Hux had been filming his scenes with Thanisson all morning so he wasn’t around to watch Ren get ready. When he stepped out of the fog Hux bit his tongue almost hard enough to bleed. He had assumed that the Headless Horseman moniker meant they would make it appear as if Ren was headless. Instead he had a giant plastic Jack ‘o’ Lantern on his head above his surprisingly accurate Hessian garb. If it weren’t for the lack of shirt and unbuttoned jacket it would make a passable Halloween costume.

“So you say dat you give die besten head in de kuntry,” Ren said from inside the pumpkin in the frankly worst German accent Hux had ever heard. “Let utz see, kann you put mein soul to rest?”

Hux resisted the urge to roll his eyes and tried his best to focus and deliver his next line.

“Oh, vile specter, I had feared this day would come,” Hux rose to his knees. “That you would come out of the fog to drag my poor soul away. Will you spare me if I can perform to your standards?”

“Jawohl, Schatzi,” Ren said, pacing close to Hux and placing his crotch directly before his face.

Hux tried to put the fact that his husband was currently standing over him in an antique military uniform with a pumpkin on his head and nuzzled into his crotch. No matter how many times they did this in the studio and at home he still loved the way Ren smelled and tasted. Hux noted that beneath the normal Ren musk there was a smell of pumpkin spice. He put it in the back of his mind, unbuttoning the pants and pulling out his husband’s erection.

An erection that was sheathed in a condom patterned like a pumpkin. After a moment Hux noticed that there was even a little Jack o’ Lantern face on it.

“What in the holy fuck is this?” Hux asked, unable to restrain himself.

“Cut!” Phasma shouted from behind the camera. She approached the actors.

“Listen, I know,” she started grimacing. “Snoke wants us to sell these things for Halloween. It’s like that wolfsbane lubricant last year.”

“Lubricant is different than a condom that looks like a Jack o’ Lantern Phas!” Hux replied frowning.

“Hey,” Phasma replied. “Sometimes you just gotta roll with it. At least they taste like pumpkin spice. If they’re anything like the dental dams it’s pretty true to advertising.”

“Pumpkin spice!” Hux blustered, looking up at Ren who had removed his headpiece and was laughing like a maniac. “This is the worst.” He stated, watching Phasma return to her place behind the camera. Hux turned to Ren.

“You could have warned me at least,” he said, giving his husband such a glare.

“You were busy all morning,” Ren laughed, wiping the tears of laughter out of his eyes and slipping the helmet back on. “Phasma’s right about them actually tasting not bad.”

Hux rolled his eyes, trying to prepare himself to give the most ridiculous blowjob of his career.

“Okay, back to ‘Jawohl’,” Phasma shouted. Ren moved back across the set.

“Ready, set, action!”Phasma yelled.

“Jawohl, Schatzi,” Ren said, pacing back over. As ridiculous as that accent was, there was something sexy about Ren speaking in a foreign language. His voice was always Hux’s favorite thing about him. Whether he was talking about the weather or calling Hux’s name in bed it always made Hux feel good. Hux tuned the whole stupidity of the scene out and focused on Ren.

As soon as he pulled Ren’s dick from the breeches he swallowed him down. As much as the cameras loved watching Hux slobber up and down Ren’s shaft he couldn’t bring himself to do it with that stupid condom on. There was no call from Phasma so she was just letting it ride. They didn’t make fine art here by any means, but Snoke went pretty far with this one.

Ren moaned from within the pumpkin and let his leather gloved hand caress Hux’s cheek. Hux looked up at Ren, pushing himself all the way down on him. One thing that Hux had always been good at was deep throating. He couldn’t see Ren’s face at the moment, but he knew the face that went with the sound that came out of the pumpkin. No matter how many time Hux did it to him it never seemed to get old.

Ren let his hand slide to the back of Hux’s head and he began to fuck Hux’s face. Hux smiled around Ren’s cock and stared up at him. As ridiculous as it was to have a Jack o’ Lantern staring down at him, the sounds in the mask made it worthwhile. Hux felt a little tug on his hair, which was to let Hux know he was about to cum.

He did with a shout and Hux crumbled backward into the fog. Ren took the Jack o’ Lantern off his head and let it drop. Giving a peaceful smile to the camera.

“Cut!” Phasma called. “Well done guys. You’re finished for today. We can shoot the discovery of the saddle and pumpkin by Boner without you.”

Ren offered Hux a hand and Hux took it, letting the man help him up. He glanced down briefly to see that Ren still had the cum filled Jack o’Lantern condom hanging from his flaccid dick. Hux rolled his eyes and Ren laughed, pulling it off and tying it closed before dropping it in a waste bin.

“What do you say we go home and watch The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” Ren joked.

“I’d watch literally anything else right now. How about we go to the diner and grab some pie. Phasma was right about those condoms, now I have a craving,” Hux responded. Ren guffawed.

“Alright, let’s get cleaned up.” He smiled at Hux and walked into their dressing room.


End file.
